Independence

What does Independence mean?. well if you’re looking for the dictionary definition then 
Independence: freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others. and that’s just from dictionary.com. Today I realized just what being independent really means. All throughout this summer, I was infatuated with a guy who I met at community college. He was absolutely perfect to me in every aspect- boy what an overstatement that was. He -obviously- did not have a child as I did and had the freedom of a fly. He could go anywhere he wanted at any given time and to a 19 year old girl with not that kind of freedom it sounded like heaven. My parents have always restricted me more than my peers about curfews, how long I could be out and with who. I also have the unfortunate disadvantage to not have my license (yet!). Well, this boy always said I should demand for more freedom and get a job and go to school- become independent, just as he was, so I could “earn freedom” from my parents. For months I tried to get a job with no luck, being a mom really killed it because of my awful inflexible hours. This guy always nagged at me at not having enough freedom, so I pushed my curfew more-all for this guy. He was never worth it, I was so in it for him and he just wasn’t, he told me things like “you’re not THAT attractive” and “I don’t really like you THAT much” for lack of better words. he used me. The independence I thought I wanted was the one where I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I pleased. Where my parents couldn’t tell me what to do, but for what? why do I wanna hang out pat 2am anyway? what is there to do-nothing. Today I saw my son stand with some assistance for 3 seconds. 3 whole seconds he was standing, the longest 3 seconds. He also ate in his high chair with both hands-fed himself. he was alone there eating his cheerios as if it were an every day thing. THAT is true independence, being able to STAND alone or WALK alone or talk for yourself. that is the true meaning of independence. I’m glad I realize it now and I’m grateful to have that independence, so I can help my son become independent. one day, he will.

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