Today, I’m not gonna write something short or long, I’m just going to put down thoughts and I’m going to be less mature in my writing-so to speak. Well this week has just been different! Life as a mom really makes you think about life a lot-especially at my age. I made a friend this week, well we’ve been friends but more like acquaintances throughout high school. Honestly we’ve only talked once. In three short days, he’s become one of my really good friends! I might say it jokingly and I don’t know if he takes me seriously or not when I say it, but It’s really hard for me to make friends the way we’re becoming friends. Hopefully I won’t get my hopes up for something more and ruin it. Oh, how ironic! A song that basically explains how I feel about this situation starts playing on Pandora, If you want to check it out it’s called “Anywhere But Here” by Safetysuit. The lyrics are really on point too haha. Well I’m grateful that I’m getting to know you dude! You’re an awesome friend so far and you actually put a huge smile on my face every time we talk and snapchat. School is also keeping me busy especially with finals coming but thank God that they’re not cumulative-because that’s just hard. I’m not failing in math which excites me! it means I’m almost done with it!  
Like I said, this post wasn’t going to be very serious just a course of how my week is going. Cody was really fussy for about 6 days- turns out his medicine was expired and wasn’t helping his muscles causing more stiffness, no wonder things were getting so tough.. he really does kill my energy! but it’s all worth it because love makes you do anything, especially for your little ones. I’m glad he’s on newer medicine now and he’s getting the benefits. Another thing about Cody is he’s hitting those terrible two’s because his birthday is in 6 weeks and I cannot believe it. His attitude is really starting to get harder to control and he just won’t listen! gahhh that little boy really drives me mad! I think I have bite marks all over my arms because of him! I’m smiling just thinking about it haha. I wish I could reach to more people with my blog, get more followers and just be able to talk to people who are going through a tough time. I just feel like I have to. I don’t know. It’s an instinct I guess. Now for cake browsing and birthday themes for my soon to be 2 year old!

have a great and blessed night!

Independence

What does Independence mean?. well if you’re looking for the dictionary definition then 
Independence: freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others. and that’s just from dictionary.com. Today I realized just what being independent really means. All throughout this summer, I was infatuated with a guy who I met at community college. He was absolutely perfect to me in every aspect- boy what an overstatement that was. He -obviously- did not have a child as I did and had the freedom of a fly. He could go anywhere he wanted at any given time and to a 19 year old girl with not that kind of freedom it sounded like heaven. My parents have always restricted me more than my peers about curfews, how long I could be out and with who. I also have the unfortunate disadvantage to not have my license (yet!). Well, this boy always said I should demand for more freedom and get a job and go to school- become independent, just as he was, so I could “earn freedom” from my parents. For months I tried to get a job with no luck, being a mom really killed it because of my awful inflexible hours. This guy always nagged at me at not having enough freedom, so I pushed my curfew more-all for this guy. He was never worth it, I was so in it for him and he just wasn’t, he told me things like “you’re not THAT attractive” and “I don’t really like you THAT much” for lack of better words. he used me. The independence I thought I wanted was the one where I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I pleased. Where my parents couldn’t tell me what to do, but for what? why do I wanna hang out pat 2am anyway? what is there to do-nothing. Today I saw my son stand with some assistance for 3 seconds. 3 whole seconds he was standing, the longest 3 seconds. He also ate in his high chair with both hands-fed himself. he was alone there eating his cheerios as if it were an every day thing. THAT is true independence, being able to STAND alone or WALK alone or talk for yourself. that is the true meaning of independence. I’m glad I realize it now and I’m grateful to have that independence, so I can help my son become independent. one day, he will.